I have been thinking today of what this whole "Mother's Day" thing is really about and why its important. Because in my own self preservation way I had decided that I didn't care that today was Mother's Day...that didn't give me an excuse to be MORE homesick and mommysick than any other day of the week...month...year. And THEN I thought "wow how selfish am I that I can't even say it to my mom...b/c its NOT ABOUT ME!!!" So before I go any further, happy mother's day, mom. I love you more than I can ever express and who you are in my life is SO irreplaceable.

So here are the things that came to mind today...that are a part of who I am...that I give my mom credit for:

• laughter - somethings in life are not funny....on their own...but if I hadn't learned to laugh...even when things are AWFUL...at myself or at others or at a puppy (or whatever) then life is going to just plain suck. Mom and I laugh. A LOT. Sometimes over things that "shouldn't" be all that funny...and we laugh the same way...its that silent shaking laugh that will soon result in tears streaming from our eyes...
• Staying up late - just to read one more chapter, or to talk or to watch a movie  (even if she does fall asleep in the chair half the time...)...or to be creative!! Some of the most quality times we have had together have happened after everyone else (or just Dad if he's the only one home) is in bed...we've shared many great talks and lots of tears sitting in the recliners in the living room.
• Aging gracefully - people are shocked when they find out how "old" I am...b/c I look much younger. And I'm past being paranoid that its b/c I ACT young....because people are shocked to find out that mom is the age she is! SEE?! I DO come by it honestly...(plus I look just like her...no avoiding that one!)
• Crocheting - Now my mom didn't directly teach me to crochet. But she did encourage me to learn...as long as I could figure it out on my own. She had knitted (crocheted 1) a baby blanket for each of her kiddos...and in my home school boredom of 5th (or 6th) grade I found the pattern books and hooks and needles she had used. And there was some yarn as well. And so I started figuring it out. And its one of my favorite hobbies still...
• being WHO I AM!  - This one is more subtle...I can't really point to an event that cements this in my mind. But just that general, "you'll always be loved by me so be who you are supposed to be" kind of thing. She hasn't always loved the choices I've made, but she has loved ME. 
• and knowing my limitations -again not necessarily one singular event, but there are a few things that have come to mind today...i.e. Mom learned that she/we were NOT a long haul homeschool family. And she was ok w/ that. And so were we! :)
• using strengths - Mom is a good cook! I know a lot of people say that their mom is a good cook, but my mom IS A GOOD COOK! And she uses that ability to bless SO many people...She has really gotten that "cooking for large groups" thing down and she is a great planner for those types of things...maybe she doesn't LOVE it all the time, but it seems to always be worth it for her :)

Those are my mother's day thoughts for this year. :) Thanks mom for everything to have taught me and will continue to teach me. You are one of my best friends and I'm so grateful to have you for a mom. I love you.

Its nearly that time of year...you know...the birthday....when its a natural time for one to reminisce, think back, remember, and lately I've been thinking a lot about where I grew up. And more specifically the church that my family attended. The little white church, at the crossroads. Laws Mennonite Church. All my best friends were from that church, during that time. And I'm so blessed that some of these friends are STILL among my dearest friends.

They say that "it takes a village" to raise a child...well there were 5 children in my family and it, without a doubt, took a village. I was the only daughter, and so I was "allowed" (I got by with) so many more play dates than my brothers. Even though I was in school and many of my church friends were home-schooled we were still quite close. When I was younger I never really thought about life being different than what I knew. We went to church. We went to Sunday School. I played with my friends while my parents talked...to everyone... As I got older, into those tumultuous teen years, I was really unhappy. With everything! But especially with church. I was bored. My best friend was gone a lot. She was traveling overseas with her sister by the time she was 16....and it might have been younger than that... And I didn't want to be there. I was the only high school student at the church, during that time that actually attended a school. EVERYONE else was home-schooled. And so my "double-life" took over. I had learned by that point to say and do the "right things" but I was some one rather different when I was at school or around my school friends. Not bad, just different. I remember talking to my mom around the age of 17 and asking if I could please find another church to go to. I needed MORE. I didn't know what I needed, but for one thing it was to find an inner peace between my "two selves" I needed to feel like a whole person. I was rather amazed when Mom and Dad gave me "their blessing" to find somewhere else to go to church. Their only stipulation was that it be a place that was Bible preaching and believing (i.e. nothing too "weird") and that I would actually GO to church! I wasn't allowed to just not go. If I didn't find somewhere to go regularly then I had to come back to their church. It was several weeks of visiting different churches, but I finally found one that I liked. And so I started going, and eventually became a member of that church.

Now there is a purpose to all of this. And it relates back to 'the village' that helped raise me. During all this time of leaving their church, and finding another, this "village" of dear people let me do it. They stood by, letting me know that they missed me, but wishing me all the best. They prayed, and I know, still do pray, for me. In so many ways I rejected the way that I was raised. I stopped wearing skirts exclusively, I wouldn't (and I do mean WOULD NOT) wear a covering. I listened to everything except the music they thought was acceptable. I read all manner of books they would have disapproved of, had they known. And I seemingly walked away from the people who had helped raise me; from the people who helped make me who I am. And yet, I felt fully confident that I could walk into most any of their houses (even wearing jeans, or with short hair) and I KNEW that I would be welcomed. I knew that there would be joy, laughter, hugs, tears, and love.

Do you have any idea how much that means? Do you know how that still touches my heart?

And this is the part that, lately especially, I have been so deeply touched by, all over again. On the Sunday morning when I was baptized at Calvary Wesleyan Church, in Harrington, just a few miles down the road from dear old Laws where I was raised, there were nearly 2 full rows of my "village" cheering me on. Church leadership had given up their Sunday morning service, to support me as I got dunked! (They are a sprinkin' group) And to make it even better, it had been several YEARS since I had stopped attending their church.

And now, "many" years later...I am so blessed by so many of these wonderful people. They are my friends. They are the people around whom I don't have to explain those weird little things that happen to you and that are a part of you when you grow up in "the bubble"...even if you've been out of "the bubble" for a long time...

**I interrupt this blog post to bring you a bubble moment...if you get it, awesome, if not...well you just weren't a bubble people...and Jesus loves you anyway ;-D My regular bubble moment (almost daily some weeks) happens at 6:06 most evenings....(cause there is not any chance that I see 6:06 AM...just sayin') I suddenly burst into song (although sometimes its in my head) "Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Praise Him all creatures here below! Praise Him all creatures here below! Praise Him above...." Well you get the picture :) I even try to sing parts sometimes...which is pretty funny when you are alone...And now back to your regularly schedule blog**

These are the friendships that I have been most surprised by as I have grown into adulthood. Some of them I did not expect to continue. And really its not that they continued as much as we have allowed each other to grow into the people we were to become and have come back together and realized that we have liked each other all along...and its a good thing...

A trip home to DE is not complete without, at the VERY least a few quick blasts of the horn as I drive by a certain house. And more usually there is at least one "quick" (HAHAHA! I stay for hours sometimes) stop in to say 'hi.'

And I find that when I leave, I think fondly of all the memories, over all the years, and count myself so very blessed that this "village" however changed due to the passage of time, will always be a part of me, will always be a part of home.